Tall Man

I just went out and got new glasses. I am pretty blind without the specs and needed a back up pair to survive my daughter's impending terrible twos. Otherwise, I would be reenacting scenes from Scooby Doo as Thelma: "Where are my glasses, Scooby".

$650 later, I have 2 pairs of glasses. You could fry eggs on these babies and not smear or scratch the lens. NASA uses the same lenses on their cockpits and the astronauts can look right into the sun without blinking. The material is sewn into NASCAR drivers underwear and reduce the skid marks by 53% during a crash or beer induced wet fart. I could use these glasses to stop bullets and never see a mark afterwards to tell the tale.

$650.

Did any other seeing eye dog applicant ever notice the way the glasses shops are set-up? I have to take off my real glasses to try on my new frames. These model frames have no prescription lens, so I am forced to smash my nose against the mirror to catch a glimpse of my new look. I look like a Asian (squinty) version of Rocky Balboa (smashed nose). Why not make mirrors that magnify, big fucking mirrors, instead of the small oval torture devices. I just spent $650 for god's sake.

Inevitably, I leave with woman's frames. I am the sexist Asian light weight champion in work on Monday, I know it.

It will take three years to completely forget the experience, save up, and begin the sadistic ritual again. God save Lenscrafters!!!!

I am aggravated with work this morning. Some days I am wonder why I even try to make a difference at the utility company.

I went to Flickr to cheer up and it worked.

Niznoz, thanks for the smile.

Rejected

This animated short from Don Hertzfeld changed by life. I would like to share it. I have the DVD from Don's website and watch it at work when things are stressful. Again I would like to thank Marissa Salas, my Queen of France.

Well at least it's not midget porn.

I love the Japanese. Thanks to Warren Ellis.

I can't get enough of the Aphex Twin and his videos. Motherfucker (via Reverse Cowgirl) and Rubber Johnny are favorites. Both make me go "ooooooooooooo".

I went to the Boston Commons for the Life is Good watermelon festival Saturday, 7/8.

On a suggestion of a passing parent, I took my wife and daughter to the Upper Crust for lunch. It is on Charles Street near the Ducklings in the Commons. It is primarily a take out joint and was filled with parents and toddlers. We got 4 slices of the day's special - garlic and spinach. Great pizza! All fresh ingredients. And we only waited about 5 minutes after placing the order. I would highly recommend the Upper Crust when picnicing in the Commons with your children.

Messy toddler-watermelon festival and gratuitous Commons spots pictures to follow...

I was sitting in Harvard Square today and a man ("Jim") stopped to talk. I was reading my week's worth of comic books from New England comics. He was interested in the current state of comic books, what Batwoman was up to, and if I read Archie.

We chatted for a while and then this gentleman's friend walked by ("Bob"). I was introduced and we continued to talk about the current exploits of the X-Men and Superman.

Bob stated he had just got back from Mars. Interested, I asked what he thought of the trip. Bob stated, "I didn't like Mars, no bathrooms, had to shit in my suit".

I got a good laugh. The men walked away to catch-up on old times and smoke a cigarette.

I wonder if Bob is a former MIT, nobel peace prize winner. MMMM, I love Harvard Square in the nice weather.

Thanks to Joanne Kent (via http://e-generator.ru) .

I would highly recommend Stephen Lynch. My friend Marissa bought me the "A Little Bit Special" album and it is 5 stars. I laughed through most of the tracks. I especially enjoyed Lullaby (The Divorce Song) and Gay. Christopher Walken's intros are also worth the price of admission. I just went on Amazon and bought Superhero to try out.

Thanks Marissa. This album will help me through my day back to work tomorrow.

I just got back from 10 days with my family and parents. I have two days to detox before I return to work. Here is the latest joke from Mom:

Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow, the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is backed up, there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.